Johnny knew giving you up broke my heart, but he thought I would eventually forget you and get on with life. Only a bloke could think such a thing. When Carol was born, he was over the moon, and I was happy too but it didn't fill that hole in my life; it made the pain worse in some ways. I just kept thinking about you, wondering where you were and if you were happy and being treated well. Johnny never mentioned you. I think he wanted to erase that episode from his mind for good. I do think it may have been much harder for me if I hadn't had Carol at that time, and Juliet was getting on for four years old by then and she getting into everything. But I would think about my missing little girl.
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